What The Future Holds
by LiveFearlessly
Summary: It has been 5 years since Booth and Brennan last saw each other. He retired. Now Booth has a few problems but when Brennan goes to visit him, will he finally do what needs to be done in order to recover from his new addictions?
1. Introduction

**Booth's POV**

Brennan's POV

**Over the years, all my values and beliefs took a back seat to addiction. I've thought about getting help, but half the time I was thinking that I had nothing to live for. There was always Parker, but Rebecca banned me from seeing Parker shortly after she came for a surprise visit and saw my "friends" with drugs. I don't blame her. I would have done the same thing if I noticed Captain Fantastic doing some drugs but I would never hurt Parker and I never did drugs. I know better than that. My life took a down fall shortly after I retired from the FBI. **

**I often write a list in my head on what I have to live for. So far, the list is: 1. Parker, and the second and final was Bones. Bones played a big factor in most of the "good" decisions in my life. I didn't do drugs, even when offered because in my head, I was hearing Bones tell me the scientific whatnot to me. Or when I was going to drink and drive. I visualized her identifying what remains I had left and thinking, 'this was the man that I spent 5 years with and even look up to?' another question constantly playing out in my head is 'is she better off with or without me?' That one question is forever in my mind. **

**Five years working with Bones and we were as close as ever. I don't think anyone knows what exactly happened to us. To be honest, not even I know completely what went wrong. After a while, we started becoming busier. Hacker and Bones got closer and closer and my jealousy was enraged. I loved her for 6 years during our partnership and another 5 to now. I would always love her. She was my **_**one. **_**I don't think I will ever find anyone to replace her. No one can replace her. She's irreplaceable. That wasn't the reason I retired from the FBI. I retired because I had paid my dues for as long as I did, saved a lot of lives. Maybe not enough lives to feel better about my past as a Ranger, but enough so that the next young FBI agent can pick up where I left off. **

**I often wondered how Bones was doing and sometimes even drove by the only address I knew of. I passed all the places that we went to together and felt a rush of sadness combined with excitement. The best memories of my life were with my Bones. I heard that Angela,, Hodgins along with Bones left the Jeffersonian a year or two after me but I never gained enough courage to walk into the lab. As far as I knew, Sweets was still the FBI psychiatrist being teased and picked on as if he were kid in high school. I always teased Sweets that he was 12, but I always knew that Sweets was a great psychiatrist. The kid had skills. And Cam, I heard she still headed the forensics department but she currently wasn't solving any murders. After I left, the FBI stopped partnering agents and scientists. Now the only thing the new squints would do was identify a victim and the rest was up to the FBI. **

**The squints, Parker and Bones were the best people in my life. Now none of them are in my life anymore. I like to dream about getting back in connection with them but I knew that that was never going to happen. No one wanted to see me. No one missed me. **

**Now the only thing left in my life is a couple dozen beer cases (which will eventually be replaced over the week as I, with the help of my friends, will end up finishing every last bottle of poison), a need for gambling (since I had nothing to lose by my life but even then it wasn't worth much) and a house with clothes all over the floor, some that didn't even belong to me. **

Everything and everyone changes; the dates, environments, habits, and people for example. Before I met Booth, I thought about the rationalities of everything because that was the only thing I knew how to do. I was shocked to see how Booth could look at a person and be able to know what they are thinking and how they are feeling whereas I look at them and identify health problems and analyze facial structure. I assume that that was probably why we made such a great team. Booth taught me so much about life, people and love. He taught me how to feel and how to appreciate emotions. He taught me that love cannot be faked or lost but it can be denied, only for so long. Meeting Booth was one of the most significant points in my life. I changed after I met him and began trying to learn as much as I could from him.

I have no idea what happened to our partnership, and friendship to make it decay, but I do know that that was one of the worst things life could have thrown my way. Booth retired from the FBI and I was left with another agent. After one case, I decided not to go out in the field with him because it wasn't the same and that was one area that I couldn't stand to see change had attacked.

Now I haven't the slightest idea where Booth is or if he is even alive. I ran into Rebecca at a grocery store one day and she told me that she hasn't heard from his either. She wouldn't tell me why Parker doesn't go see him but I knew that something bad had happened, whether it was to Booth or by him. I've considered searching up and finding his current home address but every time I'm in Andrew's office about to look it up, my fingers freeze and I can't. Andrew offered to help many times but I always found a reason to say no like 'we were late for our reservation' or 'I'll do it tomorrow'. Andrew and I stopped seeing one another because Andrew knew how Booth and I were. He knew that Booth loved me and I loved Booth. I still do. Question was did he still love me. Andrew told me that he 'couldn't get in the middle of true love's desire' I understood of course. One day I hoped that I would be able to find Booth and we could catch u p.

Now, I sit at home with my boyfriend turned fiancé debating whether or not to find Booth and invite him to the wedding. I never believed in monogamy…until I met Booth. Booth was the one person that I could change my views.


	2. Meeting Again

There was a knock on my door. I put my laptop aside and opened the door. It was Angela.

"Ange, hey!" I said stepping aside allowing her to enter "Is the baby okay?" I said referring to her pregnant stomach.

"Oh, yeah, baby's fine. I just wanted to see you."

She took a seat and I got her some water.

"Oh, well I always welcome your company," I said with a smile.

"You better. So how are you, sweetie?"

"I'm pretty good. A lot of planning to do for the wedding can be pretty hectic. What about you?"

"I'm great," She reached into her bag and pulled out a piece of paper before placing it down in front of me, "Here"

"What is this?" I said looking over the address written on it.

"That's Booth's address."

I looked at her, "Ange…How did you get this?"

"I have my ways, Bren. Now go get ready!"

"Angela, I can't…"

"Sweetie, look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't want to see him."

I looked at her, "I don't," And Then I looked away, "I can't. But Angela, If Booth wanted to see me, he would come see me."

"Bren, he might be thinking _exactly _what you are thinking right now."

"Angela, I don't want to disrupt his life. I want him to be happy."

Sweetie, everyone deserves to be happy. Including you and if the way to get that happiness is to go see Booth, then you should take it. But sweetie, Booth will be thrilled to see you. Trust me."

I didn't say anything.

"Obviously I can't force you to do, but just tell me you'll think about it."

"I will think about it."

"Good, now I have to go see the doctor."

Angela left and I sat back down and stared at the address. I didn't know what I was going to do. Of course I wanted to go and visit him, but I didn't know if he would be happy to see me. I didn't know if I wanted to find out either.

Just then, my fiancé Mark walked in.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said as he kissed my head.

"Hey," I smiled.

"Whose address is that?"

"An old friend of mine."

"Oh, you going to visit this old friend?"

"Probably not."

"Why not?"

"He…I haven't saw him in 5 years, he probably wouldn't want to even see me."

"Tempe, I can't speak for this guy because I've never met him, but if you want to see him, you should. I think you should go see him."

"You do?" I smiled again.

"Yes, I do but the decision is ultimately up to you."

I nodded, "Thank you…I think I will."

"Okay, you take all the time you need."

"Thank you so much," I said getting up and heading upstairs.

I packed a bag with a few extra clothes, Jasper and Brainy Smurf and started driving.

**I woke up with the worst headache of…the week. Rolled out of bed, put on some relatively clean clothes and switched my cup of coffee for a glass of whiskey. I sat on the couch in front of the TV and started flipping through channel after channel. Nothing good was on, not that I was ever sober enough to notice. I was about to pour myself a second glass of whiskey when there was a knock on my door. I wasn't expecting anything but my "friends" were known for showing up uninvited. I opened the door and was instantly surprised. Because standing in front of me was my Bones. She looked just as beautiful as I remember, if not more. **

I stood in front of Booth. The man that I had known for 11 years, been close to for 5, disliked for 1 and lost for another 5. He looked as though he had not gotten a chance to clean up properly. His face had stubble on it and he wore jeans and a t-shirt. His hair was messy. I wore jeans, high heel boots over top, and a black coat.

**I stared at her unable to find words.**

"**Booth?" She asked. She was still the most beautiful girl I ever knew.**

"**Bones," I said with a smile.**

"**Guy hug?" She asked and my smile widened. I opened my arms and she hugged me. I hugged back holding her close to me. She pulled back and I instantly missed the feeling. **

"**Want to go for coffee?" She asked.**

"**Yeah, sure."**

**We drove there in silence but when we arrived, we talked and laughed about the old times.**

"**Remember the pony play case? When I specifically remember you saying, "Stop! or I'll kick you in the testicles," I said laughing. She had that brilliant smile on. **

"**It worked," she said before she laughed. **

"**That is did, Bones." **

**It was great to see her again. I lost count of all the times I dreamed to see her smile again or hear her laugh. **

"**Tell me one new thing about you." She asked.**

"**Okay, um…I don't play hockey anymore. You?"**

"**I'm getting married." **

**I looked at her finger and saw the ring. My heart broke.**

"**Congratulations!" I said as I faked a smile.**

"**Thank you."**

"**It's good to see you again, Bones."**

"**It's great to see you as well, Booth. I missed you."**

"**I missed you too. And don't miss me now, but I have to use the washroom,"**

**She laughed and nodded. I got up and walked to the back.**


	3. Surprises and Confessions

As I sat at the table with a contented sigh, a woman walked up and said,

"Get out while you're ahead honey." I was immediately confused.

"I don't understand."

"He's the neighborhood drunk, darling. He gambles, drinks and does god knows what else."

"No, not Booth." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Trust me."

"Trust you, I just met you. Actually, we haven't even introduced ourselves so technically we have not properly met."

"Sweetheart, everyone here knows it and he's capable of things you didn't even think were possible."

"I've known Booth for 11 years. He is a retired federal agent as well as a Ranger.

The woman sighed, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

I heard her talking to another woman saying "It's going to be sad to find her body in the ditch or wherever else he would put it."

I was shocked. Booth walked back and I put on a smile as did he. I don't know how I missed it before, but I noticed that his eyes were practically blood shot. I could tell that he had been drinking. I got a little worried. It wasn't as if I thought Booth was capable of hurting me because he wasn't. Booth would _never _hurt me intentionally.

**We finished our coffee and went back to my house. We stood at my door. **

"**Want to come in?" **

"**Sure," She smiled. We walked in and sat at my kitchen table. I looked in her eyes and could tell that something was wrong. **

"**Bones? You okay?"**

"**Booth, are you an alcoholic?" There it was. The inevitable question with the inevitable response. She was going to leave.**

**I looked down and she sighed.**

"**You are," she said quietly.**

"**Is it that obvious?"**

"**This woman mentioned it while you were in the washroom and after that, I now notice that you're eyes indicates heavy drinking."**

"**Yeah, Bones…okay, I'm an alcoholic. What else did she tell you?"**

"**She told me that you gamble a lot. Also told another woman that…the cops would find my…body in a ditch in a few days."**

**What I was hearing shocked me. I would NEVER hurt Bones. Ever! **

"**Are you scared? Of me, I mean."**

"**No," She said.**

"**Good, don't be. I would **_**never **_**hurt you, Bones."**

"**I know that. I'm worried about you."**

"**Bones, you want the honest truth? I've thought about getting help but I never did."**

"**Why not?"**

"**Because. I kept on trying to think about what I had to live for. I couldn't think of hardly anything."**

"**Booth, you have **_**a lot **_**to live for."**

"**Really? A son I can't see? No girlfriend? A disgusting house? Friends who could care less about me? What in that says 'worthy'?"**

"**No, you have a son who you have the opportunity to see if you get help."**

**I got to thinking, she was right. If I got cleaned up, I might see Parker again.**

"**I think about ending my life every day, you know."**

**I saw her eyes were starting tearing up. It broke me. I had to look away.**

"**Please try to stop. **_**Please."**_** She said as she put her hand over mind, "Booth, **_**please.**_**" She was now crying.**

"**I can't lose you."**

"**Bones, you won't. You won't." **

**She stood up and walked up and stood in front of me.**

"**I **_**can't **_**lose you," I pulled her arm gently and pulled her onto my lap. She instantly wrapped her arms around me and I held her close. **

"**Shh, you won't lose me, Bones. I promise," I sighed, "I'm going to get help."**

**She nodded against my shoulder. **


	4. Chapter 4

**At least 10 minutes had passed before she finally pulled back. I instantly missed the feel of her in my arms but I did not say anything. **

"**Thank you," she said.**

"**No, thank you. Thank you for helping me." **

**We both stood up in front of one another. **

"**Do you want to watch TV or a movie or something?"**

**She nodded, "Sure."**

**We walked into the living room and flipped through a few channels until we settled on one. **

"**I would like to help you recover as much as I can if that's okay with you," she said which caused me to smile. **

"**I would really appreciate that."**

**She leaned her head on my shoulder and I leaned my head onto hers. **

"**You were and still are my best friend, Booth."**

"**Thanks, Bones. You're mine too."  
She smiled and I put my arm around her. A few minutes later, I heard her breathing calm and noticed that she had fallen asleep. I picked her up and put her in my bed. I left the room and walked into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of alcohol and stared at it. Should I do this? The woman I have loved for longer than I can even remember was hurt by my drinking but staring at this bottle only made it harder to decide. I would no doubt always choose Bones over alcohol, every time, but she was with another guy. She would eventually have to leave and get married, and I would go back to my old ways. Aren't I just ahead of the curve? **

**I walked to my room with the bottle and leaned against the door frame. I watched her sleep. She was flawless, even in her sleep. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She looked so peaceful while sleeping and it took everything I had not to walk over and wrap my arms around her, wanting never to let go. **

**I then walked back to the kitchen and poured the contents of the bottle down the drain. My addiction was not going to get the best of me while she was there, for real and ready to help me. It was not going to be easy and I knew that, but I was not going to give in that easily. **


	5. Getting Rid of an Addiction

The next day, I woke up in Booth's bed and smiled to myself. I got out of bed, checked myself in the mirror and walked into the living room. Booth was asleep on the couch and I smiled to myself. I covered him up with a blanket and kissed his forehead. Then I made breakfast. As I was standing at the counter, I heard movement behind me.

"First morning sober in months."

I turned around and looked at him.

"Booth, why did you start drinking?"

"Nah, you don't want to hear that."

"Yes, I do. I'm curious."

He sighed, "I started drinking because after I let the FBI. I felt like I had nothing. I mean, I _always _had Parker but he stopped coming here after awhile. And I didn't have…I didn't have…you."

I frowned, "Well…you have ne back. I'm not going anywhere. And I'm going to help you get Parker back. In order to do that, we need to get you cleaned up."

He smiled at me, "Thanks, Bones. I owe you."

"Okay, first things first, I'm going to need to get rid of all your alcoholic beverages."

He sighed and looked down, "I know."

I walked up to him and put my hand on his cheek gently, "You can do this. And I'm going to be here for you."

"Okay…most is in the cabinet over there."

I walked over and saw a lot of bottles. I was shocked at how much. I started emptying them and he winced each time.

"Maybe you should go?"

"No, I have to see this."

I finished the cabinet.

"Bathroom cabinet, top shelf."

I walked in there and found a few small bottles. I emptied those.

"Top drawer on my dresser and my nightstand."

I found more and emptied those.

"Is that it?" I asked.

"Yeah…oh wait," he reached underneath his couch and pulled out a bottle. I emptied that.

We were watching TV, and he fell asleep. I started cleaning his house. Once I was done, it looked a lot different. He woke up a little after.

"Whoa, Bones. You didn't have to do that."

"Yes I did. I wanted to." I smiled at him.

He smiled back, "I can't thank you enough, Bones."

"You don't have to thank me, Booth. I would do anything for you. I need to go to my motel and change but I'd like to come back if you're okay with that."

"Of course I want you to come back."


	6. The Reality Of It

I smiled and walked out. I went to my motel and changed. I packed some clothes and drove back to Booth's house.

"Booth? I'm back." No answer. I looked around and found nothing. Then in the bedroom, I found him on the floor. I dropped to my knees and shook him.

"Booth? Booth! Wake up, please. Booth." He was breathing but not normal breathing. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed a cold cloth. I lifted his head on my lap and dabbed his face with the cloth. After a few minutes, his eyes opened. I sighed in relief.

"Bones, what's going on?"

"You passed out."

That's when I saw it. The bottle of vodka, some had been drank and I smelled it on his breath.

He sat up and I stood. I dropped the cloth on the floor beside him and started walking out. He stood up.

"Bones-"

I cut him off, "No, don't start. I don't want to hear it."

I walked out.

**How could I have been so stupid. I had hurt her again. All for what? To pass out on the floor of my bedroom? To scare the woman I loved? To ruin the good I was working towards? I sighed and punched the wall beside me. I didn't know if she would ever forgive me and she had a right to never forgive me but I had to try.**

**I walked outside to find her sitting on the deck crying. **

"**I'm probably the last person you want to see, Bones…and this is probably useless, but I'm sorry. I really mean it."**

**She shook her head, "No, I am. I'm sorry, but I probably can't help you. I don't know how."**

**I nodded, "Don't feel obliged to help me or even stay."**

"**I said I probably can't help you, not that I wouldn't try. I'm not leaving. You're my partner and my best friend. You were there for me for 5 years and I'm here for you now."**

**She stood up and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her tightly.**

"**It's here that I feel okay, Bones."**

"**Where? Your deck?"**

"**No, with you in my arms. When I'm with you…I don't…I don't feel the need to drink. I forget about drinking mostly."**

**She pulled back. "Really?"**

**I nodded and looked into her eyes. I leaned in and brushed my lips against hers. She kissed back for a few seconds.**

Thoughts of Mark flashed in my mind and I pulled back.


	7. The Emotion Behind It

. I looked him deep into his eyes and I saw need. He needed me and he needed this. I love him. I leaned in and kissed him deeply. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck. The kiss was not hungry, nor fierce. It was gentle and soft but nonetheless passionate.

_Omniscient POV_

They pulled back and he leaned his forehead against hers. His eye burned into hers. His eyes showed need and desire and hers showed vulnerability and want. Together. At last. Everything else in the world seemed to fade away. No longer was there a line to keep them apart. No longer apart at all. Everything disappeared and the only thing on their minds was each other.

He leaned in and kissed her cheek softly. Her eyes closed. He took her hand in his gently and pulled her lightly behind him. He walked down the hall and stood in front of her. The lights were dim and the lamp on the nightstand was on. Their eyes were locked on one another. She raised her hands in the air and waited for him. His hands dropped to the bottom of her shirt and he pulled it up gently over her head. She lowered her arms and he leaned down and kissed her. She pulled back and pulled off his shirt. She placed kisses along his shoulder and walked to the side of the bed. She sat down and waited for him to join her. He couldn't believe it. He was finally there, about to make love to his partner of 5 years, love of his life for 11 years. This was their moment. Him and her. Together at last.

He walked up in front of her and leaned down to kiss her and her hands went to his hair. He pulled back and looked in her eyes. He brought his finger up her arm softly causing her to have an intake of breath. Her eyes closed as his fingers reached her shoulder. He smiled at her.

"You're beautiful," he said quietly. She blushed and smiled softly. She moved back to the middle of the bed still smiling softly at him. He undid his pants and took them off. He moved to lay atop her and made eye contact. He kissed the corners of her mouth. He kissed his way down to the top of her waist. He undid her pants and slowly took them off. He kissed his way back up starting from her legs and back up to her lips. She moved them so she was on top of him and kissed along his jaw. She kissed his neck and down his chest, then back up to his lips. He wrapped his arms around her and removed her bra.

He pulled her closer and rolled them over. He pulled off the rest of their clothes leaving nothing between them but each other. He looked in her eyes and saw the confirmation he needed. He entered her. Both moaned at the new found feeling of pleasure. They had waited for, what felt like, a lifetime to be where they were. Both wanted to savor it.

He kissed her passionately and she wrapped her arms around him. She dragged her nails down his back, moaning loudly. He kissed her neck, her jaw, the corners of her mouth and finally her lips. She kissed back.

She buried her face in his neck, still moaning out loud as he groaned in pleasure. Her fingers tangled in his hair. The only sound to be heard was their moans and heavy breathing.

Her release arrived and watching her have release brought on his own. His pace increased.

After a few minutes, they both began to come down. They were both breathing heavily. He collapsed on her, while keeping his weight on his arms so as to not crush her. His face was buried in her neck and she rubbed his back up and down breathing in his ear. She kissed his cheek and underneath his ear. She placed kisses along his shoulder.

After another few minutes, he pulled out drawing a gasp mixed with a moan from her. He dropped to her side. He pulled her close and she snuggled in without a problem. They lay like that for a bit when he decided to risk it. He had come this far, nothing was stopping him. He was so happy, that nothing could ruin it.

"I love you, Bones," he said. Only to find out that she had fallen asleep.

He couldn't have imagined a better first time with her. It was tender and passionate and most importantly, it showed them what neither of them even had to say.


End file.
